The Chaos of Life

I have learned that life can get in the way of, well, life. Intentions get shoved to the wayside. Plans end up in a heap of crumbled papers in the garbage can. Chaos claims the crown.

On the other side of chaos reigns absolute organization. Smooth sailing right into the sunset. The only problem with being Captain Organize & sailing on the USS Organized Sloop is staring into the bright horizon & becoming blinded by neatly ordered shelves & stacks.

Organization is great, if it doesn't interfere with life. I want my life to be arranged, labeled, color-coded & straightened. My life is rarely in complete order. Just when I think that I have a meal planned out, the situation changes. One phone call. Boom. Done. The chicken that was thawing for supper. Not tonight.

But isn't this what life is about? Change. Taming the chaos. Chaos is rarely kept in order. Take this case as a proven point: Chaos is everywhere. There is nothing but chaos, except for God. He is the controller of it. He commands it into order. Earth takes shape. Light & darkness. Sun, moon & stars. Dry land. Waters in their place. Animals in their respected species & places. Last, humans.

"God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day." - Genesis 1:31

Very Good. When was the last time you looked at something & said, "That's very good,"? Dang near perfect. Until chaos crept in. That sneaky snake brought chaos in the organization that God made.

It kinda, on a very insignificant scale, reminds me of when I clean a room. It looks great. I walk away to take a break. I've deserved it, right? The children sneak in & undo all that I worked hard to achieve. I sometimes yell at the kids. I sometimes go to my dark room to sulk. I sometimes call a friend to complain. But what did God do about the mess that the snake & humans made?

He passed judgment on the offending parties according to the offense. After that He made a plan. He didn't pout.

What can I learn from this event? I can't command the chaos in my life. I t is just a part of it. The only thing that I can do is make a plan to recover from the windfall. There is love & hope around the corner of dawn waiting for me.

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life." - Psalm 143:8

That's where I want to be. In the rising light. Every morning. I need to be in the light with my family. To teach them that God's love is unfailing. 

The Death of a Chicken

Ginger Chicken

This is the tale that happened in February of a little girl & her chicken.

Our Ginger chicken was sick for a while. I isolated her from the other girls. I gave her 2 full courses of antibiotics. She seemed to get better, only to have a relapse a couple days later after the second round of medicine.

I checked the girls before bed that night to see them all tucked in. Ginger gave me her "I'm-sleeping-&-your-flashlight-is-bothering-me" squawk. Good.

Her death was inevitable. The fellow at the farm bureau said it would happen.

And so it did. I went down in the morning to wake up my not-so-early-rising chickens. I waked into the greenhouse to peek at Ginger. She looked so peaceful. Her head was gently resting on her back, as how most birds sleep. She didn't move, at all, when I uncovered her box. That was it. I would have just covered the box back up & waited for Hubby to come & help me, but Girly was right beside me. She asked the lifeless chicken to wake-up, then pleaded & finally tried to "help" her to get up.

I tried to explain that, "Honey, Gingy is dead. She fell asleep & didn't wake up." I could see the confusion on my baby's face.  "Come on, Gingy, time to get up! Gingy, Get up!" over & over. I tried different ways of telling her that Ginger wasn't going to wake up, she was gone.

This was our first dealings with death that we had to try & explain to Girly. We had goldfish that died & got flushed. We never had to divulge their where-abouts of those fish because Nemo proved to Girly that, "All drains lead to the ocean." Nemo was just fine once he was reunited with Marlin, so why wouldn't all of our fish?

My grandparents & other members of our family have died since Girly has been born, but we have never taken her to any of the funerals. We just weren't quite sure what she would do to see someone she knew & loved lying motionless. Would she try to rouse them from their eternal slumber? Would she think that she could fall asleep & not wake back up? Would she have nightmares about others not getting out of their beds anymore?

We finally settled on telling her that, "Gingy is in chicken heaven." Girly would ask repeatedly throughout the day for the next 2 weeks, "Where is my Gingy?!" That was the answer we continued to give her. She would run down to the greenhouse & coop hoping that we were just playing tricks & hiding the chicken from her. She honestly did not know what happened to the chicken. Died is/was not in her vocabulary.

I was at a loss for my daughter. I couldn't ease her pain or comfort her. I felt useless to her as a mother. I could only try to repeat that Gingy was in chicken heaven. Those were 2 very wretched weeks. I'll end it with that, you don't want to hear the terrible details.

Boyo's Easter watercolor painting.

Sometimes when loved ones die, we ask God, "Why?" Sometimes we ask Him, "Where are they?" because we honestly don't know if they are in heaven with him, or in Hell.

"For you yourselves are fully aware that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night." - 1 Thessalonians 5:2

We don't when God will tell us to depart from this Earth. All we can do is prepare our souls by asking to be forgiven of all our sins & that Jesus would be our Lord & Savior.

"Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." - Romans 10:9

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." - 1 John 1:9

We can tell our friends, families & even strangers about God's love for them so that we don't have to ask, "Where are they?" We should be bold enough to tell others of our assurances of our heavenly home after we depart from this home that way they don't have to wonder where we are. They will know that if they have Jesus' salvation that they will see us again & that it will be forever this time, whether they like it or not!

I ended up getting some chicks this spring. Girly named 1 Ginger.

 

 

The new Ginger.

Planting Seeds

January is coming to an end. February is lurking around waiting to be seen. What is there to look forward to?

Groundhog Day? That miserable little rodent gets yanked from a stump out into the cold to "tell" people whether or not he saw his shadow. Poor thing. Most of the time Phil says 6 more weeks of Winter. I bet if they would let him sleep in until March 2nd he would be in a better mood & say that Spring will be coming soon.

Valentine's Day? Ahhh, love....The day where people express their love & affection toward family & friends through gifts & cards.

Presidents Day? Does anyone know why we have this holiday other than for furniture sales & to get a long weekend off for school? Homeschoolers usually don't take off this holiday.

I look forward to the seed catalogs! I love to sit & thumb through all the beautiful pictures of the flowers, vegetables & fruits. Oh how I wish they would be scratch & sniff pictures. I daydream about having my garden bursting with such splendor. I'll sit with pen & paper writing my wish list. Do I want pole beans or bush beans this year? Should I try the new purple tomato variety? What color flowers are missing in the front beds? I wonder if Hubby will let me make the garden bigger this year just to accommodate my fancy? What if I tell him it's for planting french fries (potatoes)? Grapes on the hill.......

My garden last year.

There is just something about getting your hands dirty. The smell of potential when the dirt gets turned over for a new season of planting. Seeing the neat rows marked for seedlings. This kinda stuff will do wonders for your soul. God knew this before he created this planet. The first occupation given to man was to be a  farmer.

"Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed." - Gen. 2:8

Here at the Organized Chaos household, Spring planting starts with little paper pots, potting soil, seeds of all kinds & my 2 helpers. I like to share my passion of growing with my children. We like to make a mess filling the pots & put little promising seeds in them. This counts as school. This is also a life lesson. We talk about what the seeds will end up being when they're grow: tomatoes, peppers, squash, cucumbers or sauerkraut. Okay, first a cabbage then sauerkraut.

The only problem I have with planting seeds is waiting. Ugh. How I hate waiting. I want instant results of my effort. I want to see little green shouts the next day. Some seeds germinate quickly after 3 or 4 days. Some take 2 weeks! Then there are the seeds that fail to grow. This is frustrating. There are seeds which I have counted as loss & seen them come to life well after the others.

I try to plant "seeds" in my kids. Seeds of love, hope, gratefulness, joy, gentleness, self-discipline, diligence, respect & courage. Some seeds sprout instantly. I immediately get to see the fruits of my labor. Then there are the seeds that I may never see blossom. All I can do as a parent is plant the seeds, water them & nurture them. Only God can cause seeds to grow. The exclusive way to fertilize these seeds is to pray. Then I let God handle the planted hearts.

Do yourself a favor this winter: plant some seeds. Plant some seeds to harvest in the summer. Plant seeds in your children's hearts. If this season of life doesn't have you with children, plant seeds in your own heart. Ask the Master Gardener what kind of seeds you should be planting. Check out His catalog, the Bible. There are all kinds of seed varieties in there. Don't forget to fertilize you seeds with lots of prayer.

Putting Out Fires

A nice cozy fire in my wood stove.

My Hubby woke me this morning to to tell me he's still sick & ask if he should go to work. I told him I didn't know how he felt & it was up to him. He ended up guzzling some medicine & headed back to bed. I was awake. Once I'm up, that's it. I manged to go downstairs & heat up a half cup of tea from last night. I sat down to read my devotional this morning to find that God was talking to me this morning. The story should have just started out by saying, "Deb, read this, I wrote it just for you." The title was 'Getting Chaos Under Control'.

It almost sounds like an oxymoron to me. Chaos & control are complete opposites. Control is what I seek but cannot maintain.

It's like trying to hold water from a stream with your hands. At first it seems as if your hands are filling with the cool water. You feel how refreshing it is. You decide to take a drink from the captive water you now have in your cupped hands. But as you move your hands towards your mouth, the water is running through the small gaps between your fingers & palms. By the time your hands reach your mouth there is barely a sip of water left. This is how I feel about my life.

I try to get things under my control. I think I've managed to come up with a plan. Wake up. Read devotional. Check Facebook for any news about family of friends. Drink a cup of tea or coffee, depending on the night before. Get the kids breakfast. Exercise. Shower while they start their school work. Eat. Get some chores started. Do School. That's what I plan before lunch. Somewhere between waking up & reading the devotional the plan gets blown. The rest of the day finds itself being drug down a spiral staircase, thumping & bumping down each step.

I live my life from one disruption to the next. It's as if I'm constantly running around with a fire extinguisher putting out little wildfires here & there. Some fires are small enough to just tamp out with your shoe.

When a big blaze erupts, I call in the bucket brigade. It's the moments when your getting guests & they'll be there in an hour & the house is trashed. "Hubby & kids, I need you to help clean & put stuff away! Move, move, move!!!" You start shouting orders & directions. It's as if watching an old movie with the men & women lined up passing buckets down the line to the fire. Only to see the last person throw what they hope is a bucket full of water & ends up being only a few drops.

The moral of my story is this: I am not in control. Big surprise! God is control. He orders everything.

"When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor." - Ps. 8:3-5

What are stars? Giant balls of burning gases. Or as Jerry Lee Lewis sang, great balls of fire. If God controls where each star is placed in the heavens, is He in control of the little fires in my life? Absolutely. I'm sure that God knows of my desire to be in control of my life plans & gives me fires to put out to show me that it's His plans are better.

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." - Prov. 19:21

"In his heart a man plans his course, But the Lord determines his steps." - Prov. 16:9

God is not out to torment me by popping up fires in my path. He is helping me with my disillusion of control. I have it backwards most of the time. I make my plans then tell God what I'm going to do. I need to ask Him first what I can do to serve Him.

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." - Prov. 16:3

I need to trust that God's plans are so much better than what I could ever compose.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,' declares the Lord,'". - Jer. 29:11-14a

God also gives me fires so that I stop & ask Him for water. He is the keeper of the water & the flames. Did you know that God designed certain pine trees to not drop seeds unless the cones are superheated by a fire? A new Jack Pine tree cannot be started without a forest fire. Fires are also started on purpose to get rid of undesired plants so that new fresh plants can grow? It's called controlled burning. Sounds like what God does in ours lives.

Hubby staying home today was not part of my plans. Apparently God knows that I need to give Hubby some extra love & attention. Laundry can wait until tomorrow.

Everything & Nothing

Things here have been a bit of a blur since school started. What could we possibly be doing that I haven't written in 2 months? Everything & Nothing. That's what I tell my dad when he calls & wants to know what we've been doing & haven't called since last week.

I'll give you the run down....

Hubby was off of work for a few days in October due to a minor surgery. I had to play nurse in addition to my other jobs around the house. Boyo & Girly broke Boyo's toe, & a cast was put on his foot. Hubby & I have been scraping & painting the porch & boxing. School has been taking a good chunk of the day since we're done reviewing last year's facts & learning new material. We've been volunteering at the local clothes bank every third Friday for a couple of hours. Add to that library trips, grocery trips, CSA pick-ups & lunches with Hubby when we are in town. Boyo is in the local kids theater group & has practices in the evening. I enjoy going to Zumba once a week family & friends at church. Hubby has been trying to get in as much hunting as possible. We have been trying to get as much firewood chopped & stacked before it gets covered in snow. I won't bore you with all of the regular chores & jobs that need done around the house.

Like I said, Everything & Nothing.


Tomorrow morning, Lord willing, I will be sitting in a hunting stand probably shivering. I will quite possibly stand there in the dark for a few hours with nothing to see. I can only think & imagine what is going on around me. I hate that part of hunting.

What I imagine is lurking in the woods. (80's childhood)

  

The part that I love about hunting is not shooting a deer. That would just be a bonus. I love when everything is quiet & the sun just starts to show its first light. By the way, did you know that it takes light 8 minutes to reach Earth from the Sun? That time of emergence is welcomed. You can finally see all that is around you. There is no more guessing what is lurking in the dark seeking to destroy you. Okay, I have seen too many movies where creatures are waiting to attack people in the woods. Everything is there; trees, bushes & critters, but you can't see any of it.

Dawn breaking with fog on the mountain across from us.

It is with that picture of the first light of the day creeping through the darkness that I have come to realize some of God's truths. 1. Each new day brings a renewed opportunity to start fresh. Mistakes can be forgotten in the dark & fresh chances are given to each one of us with the dawn. 2. God is Light. This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. - (1 John 1:5) God chases the darkness out of our lives, if we ask & let Him. The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? - (Psalm 27:1a) Secrets & sins that are hidden in the dark crevasses of you heart will be revealed if you let God show those to you. 3. God will show you what is hidden in the dark that you may not be able to see without His Spirit. In the dark woods, you cannot see what is mixed in with the trees. As the light sneaks over the horizon, you begin to make out shapes. You still can't be sure of what you eyes are reporting to your brain. "Is it a bush, raccoon, bear or masked-lunatic?" The light does not come all at once. It's dark......now it's light!!! Nope. Each minute reveals to you a new level of brightness. A new degree of illumination is brought forth. This might be something that you may or may not be aware of. Something that God shows you little be little. He does this for me all the time. He shows me a "priority" that I have & how it's just not that important by taking it away a piece at a time.
If you're not a hunter & won't be sitting in the woods freezing tomorrow morning, maybe wake up before dawn. Take time to watch the light overtake the dark. Spend time with God in prayer during those early minutes. Ask Him to show you the things that might be hidden in the dark.

This is what I'll be thinking of when I am freezing in the stand.