Bittersweet

I love bittersweet. It's not very pretty during the summer when all the other flowers are in their blooming splendor. It sits back & waits for it's turn. Biding time unassumingly.

Then, when all the plants are quietly getting ready for their long-winter's nap, the bittersweet explodes with bright contrasting colors. Just when the world is putting on it's winter dress, the bittersweet is putting on it's party gown.

Bittersweet reminds me of my daughter, Hannah. She is still in the green leaf-stage at 13. I look at her & see what is to come. I can see the vibrant colors. But that's the thing. I'm hoping to see what should already be visible. I'm still waiting. How long will I have to wait to see the buds? I don't know.

Hannah has made great strides in gaining good speech. I would pray that God would let her talk to me, again. I have learned & trust that God is good & answers prayers. She now can have simple conversations & express her wants & needs. Like going to the store to buy some toy because she has money in her pocketbook. I think Hannah will always want to buy toys. This is bittersweet to me.

She looks like a girl in her fledgling teen years. She is good at math, when she's in the mood. Hannah sometimes smacks her brother when he is being a younger brother. She loves & shows compassion.

Hannah is my bittersweet. When all the other girls her age at the school dance, she is at home drawing her pictures. It's not that we forbid her to go. I don't know how much she would understand about that social confusion. That's all a junior high dance is anyway. She's happy to draw instead. She tells me that she doesn't want to kiss, let alone marry a boy. Hannah describes that as, "Disgusting!" I rest easy with that thought, for now.

Every so often I get to see a peek of dazzling color in her. She doesn't bloom all at once. One flower at a time. I savor it each time I see a glimpse of it happening. It happens in her time & God's.

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

4a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

6a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace. - Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

God doesn't give me all good nor does He give me all bad with Hannah. He gives what I need, good & bad. Sometimes separate. Sometimes at the same time. I can rest assured that He is with me ALL the time.  

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.- Deuteronomy 3:16

So I will wait. I will wait & watch with eager eyes. Someday my Bittersweet will bloom, spectacularly.